Last month I was asked to do a talk on Women’s Empowerment. Although this threw me a bit off guard as I have been focusing on readings of my book to children, this for me was such an honor and such a validating experience. But most of all it was an opportunity for me to step out of my comfort zone and do something which frankly really scared me!
My first thoughts were, “This is so flattering but I have never done public speaking to a group of adults before so maybe I’ll give it a pass this time until I feel I am ready”. Then my internal voice kicked in “But wait a minute, you believe so much in stepping into your fears so you don’t have a choice, you HAVE to do this”. ”
This opportunity won’t come again if you don’t just go for it!”
The difference with that internal voice today compared to the internal voice I would have had even just 5 years ago were completely different. What I know for sure, is that most of us naturally speak to ourselves in a way that we would not dare speak to a friend because it is simply ‘harsh’, and yet for some reason, we feel it’s okay to speak to ourselves this way!
This has got to change Girls!!!!! You have to tune into your inner cheerleader.
Positive reinforcement has been a known and powerful tool in the psychology field for decades, Positive reinforcement strengthens a behavior by providing a consequence an individual finds rewarding.
So let’s take this principle and apply it to our “internal voice of sabotage” situation…Basically, if we switch our internal voice to something more positive, kinder and empowering, this will, in turn, give us just enough confidence to step out of our comfort zone and do something we are afraid of. Once you have achieved this, the reward of this accomplishment is huge! so what happens? You are likely to repeat the behavior…
This is in my opinion how we can slowly change our internal voice from “bully” to your very own personal “cheerleader”.
You slowly start to drop the barriers, cut away the weeds, step forward…you start to step into your full potential.
I recently read this powerful analogy about training an elephant. It describes how baby elephants when captured are tied with just a rope to a small tree. The young animal attempts to escape but the effort and pain of pulling free are quickly limiting. The inexperienced elephant learns that it will never break free and gives up. Once the elephant grows thousands of pounds and several feet in height it is suddenly one of the largest most powerful animals in the world. But wait a minute, it is still tied to that same little rope to that tiny little tree!!! Although it is mighty beyond imagination, it has come to believe in its limits. (Inspiration Deficit Disorder; Jonathan H.Ellerby, Ph.D.)
I believe we are all somewhat a little bit like this unrealized elephant. We forget that we are powerful beyond measure and that only we ourselves are holding us back.
Shall we cut that imaginary rope that is still tying is to the tree?
Lots of love and even more self-love,
Stephanie xo
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